“You are who you are, for a reason
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.
You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.
The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.
No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.
You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
Today, I want to share a personal journey that shaped who I am and how I view the world—a story of struggle, doubt, and eventual acceptance centered on my relationship with religion and spirituality.
As a child, I grew up in a cold, unaffectionate household. Without nurturing parents, I faced a world that felt indifferent. Religion was absent; there was no spiritual foundation. Paired with the hardships no child should endure, the idea of a benevolent higher power felt illogical. If one existed, why would children suffer? Why would bad things happen for no reason?
When faith was discussed, my questions were met with silence or weak answers, deepening my skepticism. Through childhood and early adulthood, I was a non-believer. To me, the Bible was a tool to control followers with rules that didn’t match my reality. I doubted a holy spirit watching everything while allowing suffering to continue. Hearing, "God will never give you more than you can handle," felt hollow—at 12, I had already reached my limit. If God existed, I thought, we’d be talking face to face. But somehow, I’m still here.
In my mid-thirties, life took an unexpected turn. Sitting in jail, isolated, my thoughts often returned to my Uncle Fred and our unfinished quest to find purpose. He once mentioned "The Purpose Driven Life," a guide to discovering one’s calling. We never finished the book, but one passage stayed with me.
i don't claim to have all the answers. Faith, for me, isn't about absolute certainty but about embracing the journey of exploration and understanding. It's about recognizing that doubt and belief can coexist, and that questioning is a natural part of spiritual growth.
Accepting the existence of a higher power didn't erase my past, nor did it provide clear answers to all my questions. But it opened a door pathway to understanding that perhaps there was a greater purpose to my journey. It allowed me to start healing, to find peace in the idea that my experiences had meaning.
The essence of that poem was profound: each of us exists for a reason. We are part of an intricate plan, uniquely designed with intention and purpose. It suggested that our experiences, no matter how challenging, shape us into who we're meant to be. The idea that there could be meaning behind my pain was a revelation that began to thaw the skepticism I'd held onto for so long.
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